


Never Bulletproof

by chasingthenight



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Betrayal, Drama, Drama & Romance, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Gang AU, Gang/Mafia AU, Gangs, I still don't know how to tag this shit., I suck at tags!, Look at all the tags!, M/M, Mafia AU, Monsta X Bingo, Multi, Oh well., Romantic Angst, Romantic Friendship, bite me, mafia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 15:52:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7624684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasingthenight/pseuds/chasingthenight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kihyun doesn’t want to believe it, but he’s never known their leader to lie to him; Hoseok would never lie to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Bulletproof

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MinSeulgi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinSeulgi/gifts).



> Okay so, first, this fic is part of [THIS](http://monstaxfanfic.tumblr.com/post/147089948979/monsta-x-sunny-summer-fic-bingo) Monsta X fic bingo thing! 
> 
> Second, I have never had so many issues writing a gang/mafia AU situation before-- I LIVE for the angst and drama, like wow-- but, goddamn, this threw me for a loop. I think I switched ideas about four times and had to rewrite it at least twice and just-- Wow. ALSO... **important note** : _Italics in the story are flashbacks._
> 
> Lastly, y'all should listen to my good friend MinSeulgi (whom I have decided to gift this to) when she recommends songs and stuff because she is on point with that shit. Thanks girl! Einaudi and Secret & Whisper helped get me through this without actually tearing my hair out.

"We can't even trust our own friends."

Kihyun can’t swallow down or speak past the lump that’s been lodged in his throat for the better part of the past hour, ever since Hoseok had pulled him into a private meeting supposedly to discuss a new mission. He’d had a feeling then-- because Hoseok never sends the boys out, even for private meetings-- and, oh, how he wishes his instincts had been wrong. Now there are tears that sting at his eyes and a shake in his fingers because he can’t quite grasp what the younger boy has been trying to tell him. Kihyun doesn’t want to believe it, but he’s never known their leader to lie to him; Hoseok would never lie to him. 

“Kihyun?” Hoseok’s voice yanks him back and he stares up at the male, eye narrow.

“No.” His answer is sharp despite the tremble in his voice and he looks at Hoseok like a kicked puppy, eyes wide and tears gathering at his lashes, a look that deceives the anger that wells up in his chest. Kihyun doesn’t want to believe that what Hoseok is telling him is the truth, but in all the years he’s known the younger boy he’s never known him to lie to those he trusts, especially to his best friend.

“Kihyun…”

“No!” Kihyun stands so fast that he knocks his chair over, the combined outburst and clatter startling their leader as he watches from behind the safety of his desk. Kihyun almost calls him a coward for hiding behind it, but he thinks better of it-- he thinks of the last time he’d called Hoseok a coward and the words die on his tongue. “It’s not true. Why are you doing this?” 

Hoseok glances away and he looks hurt, but Kihyun can’t blame him for that. For the first time in the twenty-some years they’ve known each other, since they were toddlers without a care in the world, Kihyun doesn’t trust him, doesn’t believe him, and might even hate him. He’d never thought hating Hoseok would be possible, especially not now, but hate is the only label he can put on the boiling beneath his skin. Hate and anger are the only emotions he think he could feel right now.

“Kihyun, I know this is hard, but you have to believe me.” Hoseok finally moves from behind his desk, finally relinquishes his fortress, circling around where he rights the chair Kihyun had knocked over before easing the boy back down with a firm hand on his shoulder. Kihyun lets him and doesn’t put up a fight. Hoseok leans against his desk, hands folded together against his legs. In his business casual suit, shirt undone down three buttons, he looks like he could be trying to sell him a car. “We can’t trust them and they have to be taken care of.” 

Hoseok has never been one for pleasantries, for speaking the truth with pretty words to make it sound more appealing though the meaning behind them is nothing more than violence and blood and death. It’s not him-- he doesn’t believe in sugarcoating the truth, not in what they do and the chaos they create-- and Kihyun wonders why he’s doing it now. Except he knows. He knows and it makes him so goddamn angry, fingers closing into tight, white-knuckled fists.  _ They have to be taken care of?  _ he thinks through pursed lips. _ No, he means they have to be killed. It means Jooheon and Hyunwoo have to be killed. _

“Why?” His voice is quiet, the terrifying sort where you can’t read the emotion or judge what might come next-- is is the calm before the storm?

Hoseok’s features have been tired for ages, worn down beyond his years, but he looks exasperated now, on the edge of regret, and he sighs and fixes Kihyun with a stern expression. “I already told you, Kihyun.” 

*    *    *

_ Changkyun is only thirteen years old when he’s pulled off the streets and brought to the boys to be raised and trained-- only thirteen years old and already he’s seen so much evil. Granted, the others-- still young in their own right with the oldest being only seventeen-- have seen their fair share of horrors, but it’s not something they would wish upon anyone, especially someone as seemingly pure at Changkyun. But they’d taken him in with open arms, got him back in good health, and began teaching him the ropes and what’s it’s like to be involved with one of Korea’s most notorious gangs.  _

_ “Again.” Jooheon is in charge of training him today and he shows little mercy as he knocks the boy down over and over and over again; Kihyun watches from the sidelines. He’s not a mean person and he has a generous heart when it comes to the boys, but Jooheon had been the least excited about taking in the young boy despite their close proximity in age. Hoseok had expected them to get along well because they’re only a couple months apart, but he forgets that Jooheon has been molded by a decade of violence already, far more hardened than Changkyun will ever be.  _

_ “I can’t,” Changkyun says, voice pitched somewhere between a whisper and a whine as he pushes himself up on all fours, knees and palms digging into the gravel beneath him. He looks up and meets Kihyun’s gaze, begging to be rescued, but Kihyun has no say in the matter-- Hoseok and Hyunwoo give the orders and Kihyun isn’t allowed to interfere unless a life is on the line-- and he gives an apologetic shake of his head. _

_ Jooheon sees the exchange and shoots Kihyun a gaze that he swears burns a hole in his skull, but then his attention is back on the boy. “Yes you can. Get up.”  _

_ “It hurts.” He’s almost positive that two of the fingers on his left hand are dislocated, and while his ribs might not be broken, they’re surely bruised and hurt something fierce and it makes both breathing and standing difficult-- not to mention the cut on his cheek and the blisters on his knuckles which have started to bleed. He looks up at Kihyun again, but Kihyun has turned away.  _

_ Jooheon isn’t in the mood for excuses today and he crosses to the boy and yanks him up by the collar of his shirt. It drags a pained yelp from Changkyun who now has tears in his eyes-- and, oh, how Kihyun wish he could intervene. “Endure it. You won’t see mercy if the enemy is hunting you down. Get up.”  _

_ “Jooheon, enough!” The voice comes out of nowhere, but is unmistakeable and they all look up as Hyunwoo cuts across the grounds, a crease set in his brow, determination in his step. Kihyun should know better, should get out while he still can, but he stands and finds himself rooted in place. He won’t leave Changkyun. _

_ “Well, if it isn’t the princess’ white night swooping in to save the day.” Even Kihyun is surprised by the boy’s boldness and how he speaks to their second in command. “Where is your valiant steed, Sir Hyunwoo?” Jooheon doesn’t have much of a filter on him, but he knows how to respect his elders and superiors and he certainly knows not to speak to them so informally. He’ll be reprimanded for his choices later, for sure.  _

_ Hyunwoo’s stare is deadly and Kihyun half expects him to take Jooheon down right there, but the elder’s expression seems to be enough for the time being. “Talk to me like that again and I’ll let team one have you for a week.” While none of them have had to endure such a punishment, they’ve all had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting team one, a ruthless team of men whose training tactics are far less than humane; none of them would survive more than two days. “Changkyun’s only been here for two weeks, cut him some slack.”  _

_ “If you want to treat him like a fucking puppy, fine,” Jooheon retorts sharply, taking several measured steps back. “But it’ll be on you when he gets caught in the line of fire. You, not me.”  _

_ Hyunwoo doesn’t give Jooheon the satisfaction of another reply and watches as Jooheon marches off towards the training center’s main building. Instead, he focuses on Changkyun and the way he grips at his side and the shallow way he breathes when he moves or is moved. He’ll live, but he’ll be in pain for a few days, not that that’s something they can’t take care of.  _

_ “Kihyun.” Having tried hard to keep himself out of the line of fire, Kihyun jumps when his name is called but he stands at attention almost immediately, ready for whatever orders their second in command gives him. “Take Changkyun home.” Kihyun nods. “Have one of the guards at the main house take you back. Clean him up, put an ice pack on his ribs, and start dinner. The rest of us will be home soon.”  _

*    *    *

It’s not easy to picture two of their friends as the rats Hoseok as made them out to be, heathens and traitors not just to the group but to the entire family. They’ve been with them for years, carrying out jobs and watching each other’s backs so that everyone gets to come home at the end of the day. They’ve saved Kihyun’s ass once or twice or a dozen times because he can’t keep out of trouble and, somehow, they’re always right behind him to bring him back in line. Hoseok had even trusted Hyunwoo with being second in command, something Kihyun had been sore about for ages because he’s Hoseok’s best friend so why not him before realizing that sometimes a leader needs an unbiased head. They’d all trusted them and now that trust is being torn down brick by brick. 

Kihyun can’t help wonder, though, if there’s a different solution, if maybe they could work out something different because the last thing he wants to do is take the lives of two people he’s gotten to know over the past few years, traitors or not. He might be the weapons expert, might have a wild temper on a short fuse, and he might not have any qualms taking the life of a rival, but he has a soft spot for the boys and it can’t be torn away just like that. He can’t just think about the job, not when it involves their own team members. 

But Hoseok isn’t going to have any of it, apparently, because before Kihyun can even open his mouth Hoseok is speaking, voice firm and unrelenting in a way that Kihyun has learned he can’t fight. The decision has already been made and there’s nothing Kihyun can do about it. 

“They need to be taken out and we have to use the other boys to do it.” 

For a moment, Kihyun hopes that this is a prank, that this is all some sick joke that they’ve banded together to play on him because Hoseok did not just consider pulling the boys together for a mission to kill their own teammates. He didn’t; he wouldn’t. He might be their leader, but he’s their friend first and he just wouldn’t…. And yet the look on his face is so sincere, not a lick of amusement, and Kihyun’s heart sinks into his stomach. He wants to be sick. 

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?!” He’s out of his seat again and it takes all the control he has not the turn on Hoseok and beat the shit out of him. “Tell me you’re joking!”

“Ki--” 

Kihyun won’t have any of his interruptions. “First you tell me that two of our friends are traitors and have been ratting us out to another group, but then you want to organize the boys to take them out?” His blood boils as the idea sinks in, as he realizes what it is exactly that Hoseok is asking for them to do and the itch to lash out grows that much stronger. “Do you have any fucking clue what that would do to them?”

“Ki--” 

He speaks over Hoseok again. “No, you obviously don’t. Would you like me to tell you?” Kihyun might act like he doesn’t care about a lot of things, but he’s more attentive than the boys give him credit for and he notices things, notices how they are around each other. The idea of ripping that away from them…. He couldn’t live with that, with knowing what he’d made them do. “Minhyuk and Jooheon are attached at the hip. Minhyuk loves him and I would wager my life’s savings that Jooheon loves him back.” 

“He’s playing with him, Kihyun.” 

Kihyun won’t accept that. He’s seen how they are together, how they change when they other walks into the room or when they leave. He hears their conversations at night when they’re both curled up in Jooheon’s bed, talking about what life would be like without all the blood and violence, and the way they talk is so genuine that Kihyun can’t even fathom that Jooheon would betray him. 

“And Changkyun looks up to Hyunwoo like an older brother.” He often follows him around like one, too. “He’s the closest thing that boy has ever had to a parent.” Because his actual parents are scum who had dragged him through the mud, through hell and back before dumping him on the streets to starve and die-- and he had only been thirteen at the time. “And you want to take that all away.” 

*    *    *

_ Their apartment is never quiet, always alight with movement or movies or music-- and at night, Changkyun’s screams. Even after a year with them, the nightmares still terrorize him and he only manages an hour or two of sleep at a time, if at all. Most nights he sleeps in Hyunwoo’s room-- because Hyunwoo sleeps the lightest and can calm Changkyun down the quickest-- and forces Hyungwon out onto the couch. Other nights he shares a bed with Kihyun in the room he shares with Hoseok, and Kihyun sings him to sleep after fighting off the night-terrors. It’s not easy and it takes a lot out on them, but they work around it and, in time, they adjust to new sleep patterns and learn to take what they can.  _

_ After a while, the nightmares come few and far between and they can go weeks without an episode. Though Changkyun is getting better, there’s still a ways to go and Kihyun is always right there to help him-- especially when Hyunwoo can’t be there. Like nights where Hyunwoo runs missions with Jooheon or is out helping Hyungwon with a set up or even dragging Minhyuk from his lab because he got too wrapped up in a project. Nights like tonight when Changkyun’s screams tear Kihyun from a dead sleep.  _

_ It takes nearly forty-five minutes of tears and hysterics and a near panic attack before Hoseok is back to sleep and Kihyun has Changkyun calmed and wrapped tight in a blanket. He sings to him quietly, a Chinese lullaby that one of his nannies had taught him years ago, and he only stops when Changkyun speaks.  _

_ “Hyung, can boys like boys?” Changkyun’s voice is quiet, but his question is oh-so loud and Kihyun suddenly begins questioning the thickness of the walls that separate them from the rest of the boys. Not that it matters. They’re all open minded and he knows the question wouldn’t create any sort of fuss, but it’s not exactly a subject they bring up even in normal conversation, much less when Kihyun has Changkyun cocooned in his arms and Hoseok is sleeping not ten feet from them.  _

_ He purses his lips, but eventually answers, “I don’t see why not. I like you.”  _

_ “No, I mean  _ like  _ like.”  _

I know; I still like you. _ The words are on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn’t allow them to pass. There’s too much at risk already, what with their jobs and responsibilities-- he won’t take that chance. “Why do you ask?”  _

_ “I think Minhyukkie and Jooheonnie hyungs like each other.” Kihyun smiles and is almost thankful that Changkyun can’t see the way it spreads across his face and crinkles the corners of his eyes because he’s noticed, too. “And you like Hoseok hyung, right?” That, however, catches him off guard and he tenses for a brief moment.  _

_ “Hoseok and I have been friends for a very long time, Kyunnie.” More than friends at times. Surely it’s no secret that they’ve tumbled into bed together more than once, but it’s more of a hobby, a sort-of stress relief after a long day because they know better than to get more involved than that-- though Kihyun knows he’s hopelessly infatuated with his best friend.  _

_ “That doesn’t mean you can’t like him.” Changkyun is so matter-of-fact that it has another smile pulling across Kihyun’s face.  _

_ “If I tell you that I like him, will you go back to sleep?” Changkyun hums and Kihyun doesn’t need a light to know that he has a smug grin on his face, one he likely falls asleep with because not another word is said on the matter.  _

*    *    *

Hoseok speaks and it’s almost like he’s not listening, like everything Kihyun is telling him doesn’t matter, that shattering everything they know and love is a small price to pay to keep everyone alive-- just alive. “Kihyun, they’re going to get us killed.” 

Kihyun doesn’t answer him right away. He can barely stand to be in the same room, much less even look at Hoseok right now. When he does speak again, his voice is low, far more controlled than it had been, but no less angry or disappointed. “So, what? Just kill them, right? Spill a little blood and everything will be okay.” 

Hoseok sighs again and circles back around his desk, but he doesn’t sit and Kihyun knows he’s trying his best to fend off the blows without hiding. But what gets Kihyun is the shift in the way their leader holds himself, the stiffness in his shoulders and the sudden set to his jaw. It’s not a look that Kihyun sees often and it’s not one that he’s learned to like. 

“Kihyun, I’m not asking you to help me; I’m telling you.” Kihyun swallows hard at the tone that Hoseok speaks to him in. “And if you won’t help me, I’ll have you re-assigned.”

The threat has Kihyun backing down, shoulders slumping and expression falling. As much as he doesn’t want to help Hoseok with this, he knows that a reassignment will be ten times worse, that it’ll chew him up and spit him back out and he won’t survive more than a month elsewhere in the family. This is where he belongs whether he likes it or not. 

So he submits and he sinks back into his chair and he sits and listens without another outburst. 

“So here’s what we’re going to do.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this stupid thing was like pulling teeth. No, worse than pulling teeth. Obviously I don't do well with deadlines and assignments. Why do I torture myself like this?? I hope you all enjoyed.


End file.
